i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
