I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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