Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
