....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
only if we run a train.
done.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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