Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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