so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
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Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
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One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My penis needs a shock collar
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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