How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
