So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I look better un-naked...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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