I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
