I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
