just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Still dying that you shit outside
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Randomize
