I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
