and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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