Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
