So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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