Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I enjoy the company of your penis
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
