Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
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i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
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I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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