when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
