Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
