forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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