the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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