Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
