Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
