Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
