My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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