You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
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