Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
