hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
