We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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