..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
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