Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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