Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
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