Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
The struggles of a small town man whore
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
