i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
