never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
