just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I stole a fireplace last night.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize