i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
