is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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