I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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