i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
That accounts for only three of the penises
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Randomize
