Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize