Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
