We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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