oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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