Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
