so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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