Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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