Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
