Porn is love you can see.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
