Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
