On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
