never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize