your parents love me but you hate me
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
