accomplished twins. life is a go
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize