just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
