is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
