what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
