Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Randomize
