ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
