i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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