Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
