Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
