He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
