yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
A+ Viking dick
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
