Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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