oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
