I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
